do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
pray to the hookup gods
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
