I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
