Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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