I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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