Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
