i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
