maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
