so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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