The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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