Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Come on in and take your pants off
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