Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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