i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
