Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
