Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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