this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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