Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
