You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
