I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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