69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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