I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
