he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
