We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
