Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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