this beer tastes like vomit already
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
