She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
