you guys were way drunker than both of me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Randomize
