It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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