it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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