I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
