everyone is single if you try hard enough
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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