this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
