You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
