how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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