Yo dont text me then not text me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
