Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
