have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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