you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
