i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize