Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
