would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I yelled at your uterus for you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
