apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
