why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
