I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
