Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
