in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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