Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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