there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
