After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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