He kissed a someone with a penis
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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