don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
