I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
