He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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