so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
