Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
