Tell her she can't have a vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
