absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
