God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's just like the Real World with babies
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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