So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Couch. On fire.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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