im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wish there were birth control emojis
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
