do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
