The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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