His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
