I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
