Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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