I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
