ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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