I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
