am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize