What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
