He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
