I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he was CRYING into my vagina
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
