You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
