You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you would pick up someone in the library
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
